The British press is lambasting and lampooning both the Burson-Marsteller PR firm and their latest PR hire, Lord Melchett. Here is a satirical 'memo' written as if it leaked from inside B-M: "Lord Melchett will be heading up our new 'corporate conscience' desk, which will work to uncover the hidden humanity inside organisations such as Monsanto... I can't help but think that if this initiative had been around back when Nikolae Ceausescu was our client, he might still be in a position to pay his invoice. ... Please give (Lord Melchett) as much cooperation as you can without showing him any files. ... Next week's CSR lecture is about how the public backlash against Big Tobacco is adversely impacting on Little Tobacco, and Dr Mike and his team will outline what we at B-M are doing to publicise the plight of small, independent tobacco farmers worldwide ..."