Corporation Enters Race for Congress

Mouse pad with Murray Hill's political slogan.Now that the Supreme Court has ruled that corporations are entitled to the same free speech and political rights as American citizens, Murray Hill, Inc., a public relations and advertising firm in Maryland has announced that it intends to run for Congress in Maryland's 8th Congressional district. In an undated press release posted on the company's Web site, Murray Hill says, "Until now, corporate interests had to rely on campaign contributions and influence-peddling to achieve their goals in Washington. But thanks to an enlightened Supreme Court, now we can eliminate the middle-man and run for office ourselves." Murray Hill states that it plans on spending "top dollar" to protect its investment in government, adding, "We bought it, we paid for it, and we're going to keep it." The company plans to run as a Republican in the primary, and announced that it will run an aggressive, historic campaign that "puts people second" or even third. Murray Hill will be the first corporation to test the Supreme Court's new ruling conferring political free speech rights on corporations. Murray Hill has designated a human to fill out the necessary forms to apply for its run for office, and it's political slogan is "Corporations are people too!" It has started a Facebook page and says it plans on using automated robo-calls, "astroturf" lobbying, and computer-generated avatars to win over voters.